Be a little more descriptive, and draw out the story a little more. Some things to improve:
I would recommend proof-reading/spell-checking before submitting your work. eporner Be a little more descriptive, and draw out the story a little more. If this is your very first piece of ero-literature, then you are off to a okay start. Be a little more descriptive, and draw out the story a little more. If this is your very first piece of ero-literature, then you are off to a okay start. If this is your very first piece of ero-literature, then you are off to a okay start. Be a little more descriptive, and draw out the story a little more.
