You need to work on your detail and the story length. Japanese sex For something like this, a little back-story could be a great help.anonymous readerReport 2013-02-27 23:33:55Not bad but add some more detail«1» 5 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2013-03-10 20:05:14Are you all kidding me? For something like this, a little back-story could be a great help.anonymous readerReport 2013-02-27 23:33:55Not bad but add some more detail«1» The second thing that could be improved is detail. A few area’s for improvement though. Try separating the paragraphs out so that it is more readable. Yes, a bit more detail also helps the reader understand what’s going on. The second thing that could be improved is detail. Try separating the paragraphs out so that it is more readable. Try separating the paragraphs out so that it is more readable.
